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Your Fertility Journey

Your Fertility Journey

Helping you through yours

How often should you have sex when trying to conceive?

23rd February 2015 · In: Blog, Fertility Facts

How often should you have sex when trying to conceive? Well, the majority of couples who are trying to conceive are just not having enough sex. Fact! And the ones that are, often are just not getting the timing right.

Q: How often should you have sex when trying to conceive?

Courtesy of Richard Foster www.flicker.com

A: Couples who are trying to conceive often fall in to the trap of only having sex around the time they think the woman may be fertile. However if you are ‘saving’ sex for only around the fertile time you run the risk of missing ovulation completely but also by the time you have sex, the sperm waiting to be released will have a higher percentage of abnormal, less motile or dead sperm. If ejaculation is infrequent the chances are greater that the likelihood of conception at ovulation, will be reduced. Therefore it is recommended that a couple should have sex every 2-3 days throughout the cycle.

Q: I’m fertile on day 14 of my cycle, right?

A: Not necessarily correct. Many couples believe that a woman is fertile in the middle of her cycle or around day 14. Whilst this might be the case if a woman has a regular 28-day cycle, in actuality very few women do. Observing and monitoring your basal body temperature and your cervical secretions is the only way to know for sure when you are fertile.

Q: How long am I actually fertile for?

A: This is an interesting question. Once ovulation occurs, an egg can only be fertilised for 12 hours to a maximum of 24 hours. It makes you wonder how any one ever gets pregnant! However the good news is that sperm can survive in the female genital tract for approximately 5 days and sometimes up to 7. Research shows that no pregnancies occur from sex that happens the day after ovulation. Therefore all successful conceptions are on the day of ovulation or during the days leading up to ovulation. So, it can be said that your fertile window lasts for around 8 days in your cycle.

Q: It seems like a waste of time to have sex if I’m not fertile. What should we do?

A: You are not alone, many couples feel just like that too. Sex becomes ‘baby making sex’ and the intimacy that you once enjoyed has somehow become lost along the way. Anxiety and tension starts to creep in and spontaneous sex for pleasure and enjoyment becomes planned and structured. From a biological point of view, as discussed earlier, having sex regularly is very important. However it is even more important for your relationship. If sex has become all about making a baby you may start to feel the strain on your relationship. However be reassured that with a little extra effort and taking the opportunity to discuss how you feel with your partner, will soon get you back to enjoying intimacy with your partner and remembering why you fell in love in the first place.

Q: Can I get pregnant during my period?

A: Although uncommon, if you have a very short cycle, then yes it is possible to ovulate during your period. What is more likely however, is that because sperm can live in the female genital tract for a number of days, pregnancy can occur from sex that takes place during a period.

I hope that’s answered your questions on how often should you have sex when trying to conceive? If you have anymore - leave me a comment.

By: Kate · In: Blog, Fertility Facts · Tagged: blog, conceive, Fertility, sex and fertility, struggling to conceive, trying to conceive, trying to get pregnant

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Amy King
13:43 16 May 22
Kate is like a wonderfully kind Aunt and a fountain of all knowledge. She is the perfect balance of information and warmth that is needed to help you muddle through. I would highly recommend booking in with Kate at whatever point of your fertility journey you are in. Thank you Kate for your time!
Rachael Wilding
11:41 05 May 22
I had 5 sessions of coaching with Kate Davies prior to, during and in the 2 week wait following my 3rd round of IVF.I’d had a tough time over my 2nd cycle and was losing the hope following a loss earlier in the year and a bunch of very negative test results. I really needed something to help me to get back on track. Sessions with Kate were the perfect tonic. Over Christmas I took a break from treatment and gained techniques from Kate to help build up resilience and self care basket ready for starting a 3rd cycle in February.I started treatment in early February and it went very smoothly. We had a fresh day 5 embryo transfer on 19th February. This was also the due date for the baby we lost last year and the feelings surrounding this date were big and mixed but Kate helped me through it.We had several sessions during the 2 week wait and learnt techniques to try and keep as rational and calm as possible and this was so so so beneficial. On our final session I was able to share the lovely news that it had been successful and we talked about the emotions that came with pregnancy after loss.Being a nurse myself I really appreciated her clinical advice on top of her support and practical techniques she gave to help me through this cycle. The support from my clinic was amazing but they were busy. To be able to sit with a knowledgeable, kind and compassionate healthcare professional for an hour at a time during treatment really helped to keep my stress levels low and to be in the best shape for getting through one of the most challenging few weeks I have ever been through with hope and sanity still intact. My favourite bit of advice was to make a plan for test day to have the time with my husband to talk and reflect on the outcome. We went out for a meal together and just talked and took in the news.I’m now 2nd trimester pregnant with a healthy little baby boy on the way and I still have to pinch myself at times to believe that it worked. It was a dark period of hopelessness following my 2nd cycle and honestly feel that with each session everything got lighter and lighter. I knew this was a once in a lifetime opportunity to and have a baby and having the extra support certainly helped me to throw everything at it too.
Loretta Collins
19:58 26 Apr 22
Kate was fantastic, supportive, understanding and extremely knowledgeable . After suffering from amenorrhea for 16 months I didn't know what to do and have been feeling quite lost. Kate has been able to assist me in trying to find answers and maximise my fertility.
Warren Delay
09:18 10 Apr 22
I’ve been working with Kate for a good six months now. First she’s helped me understand my options and some of the tests i need to work through - as I have secondary infertility I’m not going to get much help off the nhs so having Kate there for solid guidance has been great. More recently Kate has helped me with some fertility coaching following a miscarriage which has really helped me to put coping mechanisms in place and feel more hopeful! Thanks Kate!Katie delay (not warren)
L Porter
08:11 02 Feb 22
Kate is very approchable, answered all of our questions. Excellent advice for us both. Instagram page & podcasts also very infromative.

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The Government is set to amend the Employment Rights Bill to give parents the legal right to take time off work to grieve their loss, no matter what stage of pregnancy. 
No one who is dealing with the heartbreak of pregnancy loss should be forced to return to work until they are ready. At last, pregnancy loss is being recognised as a significant bereavement.
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The extended right to leave will be for ‘at least’ one week, however the exact length is still being consulted on. Let’s hope it’s for longer if needed…….
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