Christmas TTC Coping Strategy
Here’s your Christmas TTC coping strategy, make sure you get this under your hat so you are fully prepared.
If you have been trying to conceive for a while, the Christmas festivities can be a difficult time to get through. It’s an occasion when you are reminded that, as yet, you don’t have a child to share this special time with.
Whilst as lovely as it is, to spend Christmas with family and friends, it’s also a daunting prospect to have to dodge the inevitable questions about when you too will be having children. Not to mention refusing a glass of champagne mumbling something about antibiotics and alcohol not mixing, whilst swiftly changing the subject and then holding your cousin’s baby when all you want to do is cry in the bathroom!
Here’s YFJ’s Christmas TTC coping strategy to get you through Christmas in one piece.
Christmas TTC coping strategy #1: The inevitable ‘When are you going to have a baby?’ question.
This is an almost guaranteed question that will be asked by well meaning (and sometimes just plain nosey) relatives. The key here is to be well prepared and remember that you don’t owe anyone an explanation. This is a very private matter and you don’t have to engage in a conversation if you don’t want to. If you decide that you want to avoid answering, come up with a quick retort and deflect the questioning. It might sound something like this ‘Not Sure. So, Aunt Hilda how’s your bad leg?’ or ‘Actually cousin Sophie, that’s rather a private question don’t you think? So, how’s your job hunting going?’ Be prepared with a quick fire return in your Christmas TTC coping strategy and they will get the message loud and clear!
Christmas TTC coping strategy#2: Considering whether to tell your family.
You may decide that you want to tell your family that you are trying to get pregnant. Consider whether this is the right occasion to do so. You may not want your fertility to be the main topic of conversation on Christmas day. If you do decide to tell your family you may want to set some boundaries in place, saying something like ‘I want to tell you something but I’m not ready to discuss it in detail today’. Whatever you decide, don’t forget the importance of feeling that you can confide in the right people. Makes this a part of your Christmas TTC coping strategy and build up an invaluable support network that you may need in the future.
Christmas TTC Coping Strategy#3: The horror of pregnancy announcements.
Christmas is a time for celebration and many people decide to announce good news at this time when family are all gathered. If your family are unaware that you are trying to conceive, they may not be expecting any other reaction from you than utter joy for the ‘soon to be parents’. How you deal with this is very individual and dependant on many factors including your relationship with your family. However it’s ok and totally normal to feel sad, angry or even envious. It’s ok to go and find a quiet place to have a cry if you need to and it’s ok to avoid pregnancy and baby conversations if you want to. Don’t feel guilty for how this news has made you feel, just be prepared in how you are going to cope with the news.
Christmas TTC Coping Strategy#4: When you just need some time out.
Christmas is a busy time filled with parties and family get-togethers. Don’t feel pressured to go to every party if you don’t want to, and if you would rather spend Christmas with just the two of you, do it. Why not find some ‘you’ time during the busy lead up or organise some lovely days out for just the two of you.
Celebrate all that you have together and put aside your worries just for a day or two. Use this time to recharge your batteries and look to the New Year with a positive mind set. Enjoy your time together and who knows what next year will bring…………