Are you putting life on hold while TTC?

• Are you putting life on hold when TTC and avoiding booking that much needed holiday because you might be going through IVF or you might be pregnant?
• Have you said no to the job promotion or looking for a new job because you don’t know if you’ll be able to get time off for treatments or what if you conceive and you have no maternity leave with your new employer?
• Do you often think ‘When I’m pregnant I’ll…….’ Or ‘I’ll be happy when……’?
• Do you believe that there really is a moment in your life when all the barriers are moved out of the way?

If any of the questions above resonated with you, you are not alone. Many women who are struggling to conceive feel as though their life is on hold.

Unfortunately there is no magic time in life when suddenly everything comes to order and there are no barriers. Life always has a habit of throwing up another barrier to jump over. It is a fact of life that many get so caught up in their fertility journey that they forget to make a life and the saddest part of all is looking back on all those wasted months (and sometimes years).  

But this doesn’t have to be how it turns out for you. Why should you have to settle for wasting precious moments dreaming of a life that you hope to have, when you can have the life you want whilst your navigate your fertility journey?

How to stop putting your life on hold when TTC

1. Take the time to really consider what you’re putting off. How is this affecting you? Does it make you feel miserable that you can’t do the things that the old you would have jumped at? Write this down so you can see it in black and white.
2. One of the reasons you may not be grasping life with both hands is that the struggles of your fertility journey has knocked your confidence and self-esteem. Start to boost your confidence by giving yourself some self-care to remind yourself that you are worthy of happiness and a life filled with joy. Bit by bit this will give you the confidence to take action and slowly make some changes to what you want out of life.
3. Don’t compare yourself to others. It’s easy to look at others, either people directly in your life or those on social media, who appear to be getting on with life. You might think that ‘they have the baby and life is rosy’ but in reality, it probably isn’t. If necessary avoid people that you compare yourself too, just for a little bit, until you’re back on track.
4. Push outside your comfort zone. We are all really good at putting off things that scare us. We are the masters of procrastination. Tell yourself to put your big girl pants on and just do it.
5. It maybe a cliché but live in the moment and not the future. You only have this life once, so live it now.
6. Now it’s time to start making a plan and in many ways, throwing caution to the wind a little. Book that holiday or take that new job. What’s the worst that can happen? You have to cancel your holiday or explain your situation to your employer. Both won’t be easy, but in the big scheme of things it is short-term pain.

Playing the waiting game sucks but how you change your approach to this waiting period can make all the difference. You’ll find happiness and joy in the things that you’ve put on hold, which will serve to lessen the wait. You won’t look back with regret but with the knowledge that you have made the very best of a difficult time and managed to see the sunshine on the darkest days. Fertility coaching helps you to move forward with your life and stop the hold. Find out what’s involved in fertility coaching here.